Forum > Funny stuff > Real 911 calls:
reply| 29 November 2008, 16:24:22 | |
deepesh |
Dispatcher: Nine-one-one. What is your emergency? Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner. Dispatcher: Do you have an address? Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks, why? Dispatcher: Nine-one-one. What is your emergency? Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich. Dispatcher: Excuse me? Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it. Dispatcher: Was anything else taken? Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it. Dispatcher: Nine-one-one Caller: Hi, is this the police!? Dispatcher: This is 911. Do you need police assistance? Caller: Well, I don't know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I've never cooked one before. Dispatcher: Nine-one-one. Fire or emergency? Caller: Fire, I guess. Dispatcher: How can I help you sir? Caller: I was wondering.....does the Fire Dept. put snow chains on their trucks? Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency? Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my tires and...well, do you think the Fire Dept. could come over and help me? Dispatcher: Help you what? Caller: Help me get these chains on my car! Dispatcher: Nine-one-one. What is the nature of your emergency? Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it. Dispatcher: This is nine eleven. Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one. Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing. Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid. Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What's the nature of your emergency? Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart. Dispatcher: Is this her first child? Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband And the winner is.......... Dispatcher: Nine-one-one Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. I think I'm going to pass out. Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from? Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster. Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic? Caller: No Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing? Caller: Running from the police Night Scorpion King (DEEPESH) |
| 30 November 2008, 21:55:30 | |
cooldudefx |
lol the last one is hilarious |
| 1 December 2008, 0:36:44 | |
alecs |
My favourite is the one with nine-eleven [:mrgreen:] I imagine the old lady being irritated and all... |
| 2 January 2009, 10:57:23 | |
crazymonkey |
funny |
| 2 January 2009, 10:57:37 | |
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crazymonkey |
i like alecs one aswell lmao |
| 2 January 2009, 10:57:38 | |
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crazymonkey |
i like alecs one aswell lmao |
| 6 February 2009, 3:03:15 | |
Jarad |
those are funny |
| 27 April 2009, 3:32:48 | |
flydogflyReal |
HAhahahaha I loved the last one and the old granny one |
| 17 May 2009, 23:48:58 | |
lol123 |
AHAHAH |
| 26 July 2009, 13:06:49 | |
faizun_nisaq |
i like the 2nd last.. [:lol:] |