A Profesional Gambler

During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks."

The bartender said, "That's fine, but we're in the middle of the Depression, so I'll need to see some money first."

The guy pulled out a huge wad of bills and set them on the bar. The bartender can't believe what he's seeing. "Where did you get all that money?" asked the bartender.
I'm a professional gambler," replied the man.

The bartender said, "There's no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?"

"Well, I only bet on sure things," said the guy.

"Like what?" asked the bartender.

"Well, for example, I'll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye," he said.
The bartender thought about it. "Okay," he said.

So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. "Aw, you screwed me," said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.

"I'll give you another chance. I'll bet you another fifty dollars that I can bite my left eye," said the stranger.

The bartender thought again and said, "Well, I know you're not blind, I mean, I watched you walk in here. I'll take that bet." So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye.

"Aw, you screwed me again!" protested the bartender.

"That's how I win so much money, bartender. I'll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the fifty dollars," said the man.

With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. Drunk as a skunk, he said, "Bartender, I'll give you one last chance. I'll bet you five hundred dollars that I can stand on this bar on one foot and piss into that whiskey bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop."

The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn't even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. "Okay, you're on," he said.

The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whiskey bottle.

The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, "Hey pal, you owe me five hundred dollars!"

The guy climbed down off the bar and said, "That's okay. I just bet each of the guys in the card room a thousand bucks each that I could piss all over you and the bar and still make you laugh!"

DEEPESH

LOL, that's a great one

hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!! thats so cool!

Yaps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!not really funny

thats great

That was good!

it was good lol cool

lol that a real funny one

i gotta try something like that

i gotta try something like that

its too long to read

dont worry iv read it now

its really funny lol thanks cool lol

yer normaly i cant be bovard to read comments if there too long

but if they are from DEEPISH then i dont min reading them

because they are always good

if there from anyone then i wnt bother reading them unless the start catches my eye

but i still read alot of jokes

this is really cool

yer i read quite a lot

especially if they are from DEEPISH

he has got a website and now i know where he gets thm from

whats the site???

im not quite sure but i think it is



www.jokes2go.com

thats were i get my jokes
and poems

cool i av to go check it out then

tell me what you think when you read some og them

kk at the moment i cba but ill tell you when i do look at em

by the way im at that website as well under crazymonkey


lol im ripping them of for this websitye

lol

lol your an undercover spy

thats write

lol
keep up the good work