Dear mother, I've been trying to tell you that I really love you, even more than cow.

Remember all the things your mom told you not to do? Well she's not here so why worry?

Buy a bottle for your mom on mother's day this year. You should because you made her that way!

That day when she decided to skip past the abortion clinic was the greatest day of my life.

I don't know who you are and where you came from, but let me just tell you that me and your mom, we did some things.

A mother in law... always 99 chances out of 100 of being a Mother Hitler. Nasty.

Oh, call your mother, go on. Just hit Redial. HAHAH

Oh hey, I know what's up with you. You're a mother!

I guess we can't be sure about it until we get the paternity results. Yeah.

Okay mom, do this. Now this. Good, good.