Keep yourselves sober and not mashed. I only like mashed potatoes.
So the gyms are closed, but I can still get my workout while having the best beverage out there. Win-win!
I slapped your face while I was drunk, but here's some tasty bacon so you'll forgive my manners.
I keep drinking but this Moderation guy still hasn't shown up. How am I supposed to drink with him this way?
He didn't forget it. It's just extra crispy, the way he likes it.
There is a slight difference between being a drunk and being an alcoholic. Being a drunk is way more fun.
Got to get my girlfriend one of these dresses. She will be the life of any party.
I guess there really was a support group tailored to my needs.
Ladies and gentlemen, please meet Abraham Drinkin'.
Remember to hug your toilet more often and not only when drunk.