We have an outlaw here. Keep close attention to this individual. Today he's touching stuff, tomorrow he'll take over the world.
Just make sure you touch this glass!
Don't get your hopes up. It's not the acid you are thinking about.
He will be forever remembered as the one who did the touching of so many fortunate souls.
There, I touched it. Nothing happened.
Glad I had the foresight to write this down before I passed out.