My wife just mentioned that they had the perfect product for me in the condom aisle. Suffice to say that she won't be getting that massage she'd been hoping for this evening.

Just don't look at these images if you are still looking to have a good day.

So we don't have any cup holders? That's all right, I will simply add this little 50 lbs block here.

Just make sure you touch this glass!

A real hipster doesn't use lighters. And doesn't use matches. A real hipster uses the power of the sun. Good luck smoking at night.

You think anybody will notice? This glass is as good as new now.

Now I can watch my girlfriend taking a dump right in front of me. How convenient!

Keep your drinks safe from our cat.

Whenever you are naughty you will have to take a sit in my special chair.

What would balance a glass of wine in your hand?