Either he doesn't know a thing about cameras or he is trying to take that cool macro of his eyes.

If you find it hard to push a lawn mower don't bother asking why your always getting weight.

You wouldn't want to wake up the grapes, trust me.

On second thought, wrapping this bread around me probably wasn't such a good idea.

After more and more customers ended up driving right in the toilet the owners decided that an appropriate sign should solve this problem.

And why didn't they just put the poor cow inside? At least she's having the best view around.

"I promise I won't tare the carpet ever again."

Good thing you remembered to wear a helmet. Who cares about the child? She won't get hurt.

Nothing else says you were speeding more than having a helmet full of smashed flies.

Look! It's Jesus walking on water. No, wait... it's just his cat.