I was just asleep and heard a loud bang and when I got here I found this mess, said the dog.

Joey is extremely fierce and deadly. Don't be fooled by his apparent kindness in his eyes.

Please carry me human, for I have given my last breath on this path.

The dog always gets stuck in the yarn.

I grant you the distinguished permission to pet me while my master is not around.

I just want to have sex once in my life, bitches. You know, before I die.

Ever wondered how dalmatian dogs get their spots? Or how the pit bull get's his black eye? Now you know.

Sometimes the shortest distance between you and your objective is not the right one.

You thought this was funny? Why don't you come inside and see for yourself if it's really that funny.

That dog is very shady. But let's not forget about that pesky cat.