I presented myself to the exam today while wearing my favorite suite. I'm simply brilliant.

It's not what it looks like. They just stayed in the sun too much, that's all.

Every time I sleep with another woman I have to wear this dumb sign and walk all over the place.

And from now on a brand new TV every 6 months, a new iPad, and a new Xbox game per month.

This man takes care of me, unlike you. Just look at how good we look together.

I wonder what the outcome would have been if his hand had a "NO" written down.

And now the whole world will know you cheated on me.