We definitely need to keep this cable subscription thing going. The quality of news is staggering!

I don't know why, but everyone wanted me to join the fire department ever since I was little. So I did.

We have a new interview with Mr Faartz, who is always happy to answer our questions. For some reason it always stinks in this hospital...

I told you guys that I needed my brakes fixed.

I don't know who this guy is and where he comes from but I need him hired immediately. Someone who knows how to post Facebook videos is clearly someone I want to work with.

We are looking for a suspect. We know he is black. Give us some tips and we'll get right over and arrest this guy.

Jack made it to the news again. This time Heywood Jablome has a competitor.

We interrupt this program to give you the latest developments: it seems that the president is going to get something to eat. Stay tuned as we unveil his food preferences.

The suspect was released because the victim clearly taunted him.

According to CNN, Hong Kong has reached South America.