I know you like basic grammar so this is for you.

God created even the middle finger. It's for stupid people.

Good luck getting your car out before everyone else does.

When your fox hole is filled up like this you better check your accuracy.

Just give the cat another reason to kill you. Dumb mouse!

This is what happens when the power goes out in the middle of your haircut.

When will I ever get to use all that math knowledge in real life?

We clean your holes. That's our job. And it's an advanced service.

Someone clearly ate too much chili sauce.

Looks like we ain't going nowhere until the springs comes.