Your dog is now like a brother to me. Don't come looking for him.

You know you have hit rock bottom when a goat listens to your rap.

So lady, what are you hinding underneath?

I was sitting here minding my own business when the blinds attacked me.

Not now kitty, I have to work now leave me alone!

Don't I look just gorgeous?

When your cat can take this much stuff and still doesn't care it's time to call the doctor.

Would you mind not standing up because then I certainly won't be able to reach you.

Well this is how you end up if you ain't got no kids.

The force of balance is strong with this dog.