Make sure you don't get drunk and end up in a bar fight the night before your scheduled Santa job at the local mall.

Since we are trying to save the planet and making people travel less, being naughty is the right thing to do for this year.

Do you want a demanding child when you get home? Then please don't let them wander around these premises or we will make sure you will have an interesting Christmas. Thank you!

10 years ago we hanged Santa because we didn't get the required presents for Christmas. All that remains now are his bones and clothes.

It's incredibly windy this Christmas.Better not wear any short skirts. That means you too, Santa!

My sister is naughty. Trust me, I know these things. So reroute all the presents to me please.

When even Santa is working 2 jobs, that's when you know the economy is in the toilet.

You ask why? Because your family is really poor, that's why.

Hey mouse, hey little mouse, Santa's here, come out now!

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to Stanley, the spare reindeer.