Do you want a demanding child when you get home? Then please don't let them wander around these premises or we will make sure you will have an interesting Christmas. Thank you!

Do you know how sad I am because I don't have any children? I'm going to go cry in my Corvette right now.

Why risk an injury when leaving your child to play with a firearm? Why not use a mortar or heavy machine gun?

Our studies have confirmed that children are people too. That is just in case you were thinking that kids do not add weight to the elevator.

I guess you should go to school before placing discounts in your shop.

Looks like DVDs are now considered books. Not sure what VHS stands for. Probably some new emerging technology.

This must be the bus for bad children.

Were you speeding again sir? I remember pulling you over yesterday.

You meant out of children's reach. Right?

Please mommy, not the dishwasher again. PLEASE!