It's pretty unfortunate that you got stabbed, but here - have a cake to make things a little bit better.

Cake eating is always my top priority since someone somewhere is celebrating their birthday.

Try not to take everything literally next time you get the cake engraved.

Remember that spoon that went missing while baking this cake? Well, I found it eventually.

Your girlfriend is retarded so here is your shitty cake for your birthday. Enjoy and don't blame your girlfriend. It's not her fault.

For those of us who cannot get enough hot dogs there is now the hot dog cake. On a second note, there is no need to get a knife for this piece.

My sister is naughty. Trust me, I know these things. So reroute all the presents to me please.

Well, who wants some cake with little Billy's spit?

Mind as well face it: you are completely dead to us from now on. Goodbye.

I believe we either have a dumb cake decorator at the bakery or we're missing a part of the cake I've ordered.