Ain't nobody going to be able to steal my car now.

First of all, you have a manual, so that pretty much takes care of the entire theft problem.

At least they left the frame in place. Now all I need is to buy... everything.

Seems that Jesus took the wheel after all. Just too late and not the one I was referring to.

This guy deserves to have his bike stolen. If basic geometry and physics is not something he mastered before riding a bike then it's too late.

Kids with bikes today sure are a lot more stupid than they used to be.

Q: How do you spot a future former bike owner? A: By his overwhelming skill of locking his bike to a railing.

Want to make purchases beyond $50? Then be prepared to show us some fake ID. You ain't getting away with it that easily.

Your iPhone has been kidnapped. I need sustenance and you need your phone back.

There are a lot of thieves around here so you better place all your valuables under your watch.