Let the James begin
Totally worth naming his kid James.
It's a boy
I don't want to know how the girl version looks like.
Birth control method
I'm so ugly that there is no possible way I might get pregnant any time soon.
You are too old
The Internet has its subtle ways to tell you you are getting old.
Hold on, I gotta tweet this
Just leave me alone with that stupid baby while I finish tweeting.