You made this, human? Do we look like a joke to you?
Cat has already taken care of the dog so might as well not mess with him.
So which one would you rather spend some time with?
I am going to ask once and only once: where did you put the box? Don't test me, human!
The poop fairy is out of town this month so you are responsible for cleaning up after your dog.
Guess what I was going to use at the supermarket today to buy some more dog food. Unfortunately, I won't be able to until the bank issues another credit card next month. Guess again who will have to eat leftovers until then.
I got to get a dog like this. Just imagine how many hours of walking in the park I would save.
At least I got my priorities straight. I'll use my dog to track down the wife.
Taking the dog for a walk is no fun anymore. Taking the dog for a swim is more like it.
Pit bull with AIDS sticker is the perfect burglar deterrent I have yet to come up with.