Sorry that I have the same name as your dad, but don't worry, I have a perfect solution!
If you ever wanted to explain multi factor authentication to your grandma then here is your solution.
I'm not too demanding, just make sure you have plenty of cash lying around, are stable and have a bunch of kids.
What? Somebody is dating my daughter? Put an end to his miserable life once and for all!
Somebody learned their lesson the hard way.
We are breaking up. Ah, sorry, that wasn't for you.
Watch out.... Moth loves you, you're next.
Hahahah, ring found, yeah, sure. Nice try Sauron!