I keep drinking but this Moderation guy still hasn't shown up. How am I supposed to drink with him this way?
He didn't forget it. It's just extra crispy, the way he likes it.
There is a slight difference between being a drunk and being an alcoholic. Being a drunk is way more fun.
Got to get my girlfriend one of these dresses. She will be the life of any party.
I guess there really was a support group tailored to my needs.
Ladies and gentlemen, please meet Abraham Drinkin'.
Remember to hug your toilet more often and not only when drunk.
Your little drinking problem is getting ridiculously small. You can't keep drinking like this for the rest of your life!
When you get so drunk that you need help from others to keep your head up, that is when you have hit rock bottom.
Want to make your phone disappear overnight? Just grab it on the way to the pub and make sure at least 15 beers end up on your tab.