If you are looking for a unique way to wake up and your boyfriend is nonexistent or simply out of town then try this alarm clock. Also good luck falling asleep with this in your panties.

Apparently faking you breast size gets you in front of the line.

Just in case one of your distinguished passengers requires you to carry his garden tools along.

Those same bastards always criticize the younger generation, no matter what we do.

Calvin Rickson must have seen this coming to him. And he is certainly gay. No straight guy would ever "solve" this problem.

You like angry birds? It so happens that they most certainly don't like you.

My golden years are not as golden as you think. My urine is though.

In case of fire just exit this door and get burned alive while watching the locked gate.

Was that the correct comeback?

Get your new electric hammer and be as productive as ever. The deluxe version also comes with bright red lights.