Make sure that your motivational messages don't have additional meanings once the pencil gets shorter.
Not having any friends saved me from a lot of problems while Facebook went down.
Just imagine that I wake up 2 hours later. The horror that is upon me every morning is apalling.
I have the worst life ever. This house is too big.
Good thing I was able to find jeans with bigger pockets, otherwise I would have had to get fat.
If the dog kept jumping out I needed to restrain him somehow. At least this way he can enjoy the wind in his face.
Only when the spider disappears you'll have that "oh shit" moment.
I guess he had a really serious problem. You know what I mean.
Don't worry, I'll take care of the dog. Problem solved!
Uh-oh.... Okay kitty, be nice, be nice!