Make sure that your motivational messages don't have additional meanings once the pencil gets shorter.

Not having any friends saved me from a lot of problems while Facebook went down.

Just imagine that I wake up 2 hours later. The horror that is upon me every morning is apalling.

I have the worst life ever. This house is too big.

Good thing I was able to find jeans with bigger pockets, otherwise I would have had to get fat.

If the dog kept jumping out I needed to restrain him somehow. At least this way he can enjoy the wind in his face.

Only when the spider disappears you'll have that "oh shit" moment.

I guess he had a really serious problem. You know what I mean.

Don't worry, I'll take care of the dog. Problem solved!

Uh-oh.... Okay kitty, be nice, be nice!