The day grandma got a gun was the day I became overweight.

If you are too lazy to hold your food in your hands you have just been promoted to the pro league.

You know, just in case you were thinking about chewing the pizza with the box around it. Some people complained about this so we needed to write down some instructions for those special kind of people.

This is certainly going to change my opinion regarding cute and innocent birds.

I got some cat food in those pink bowls on the porch. I'm sure my doggies will love it.

Thank God for putting some food on the table every now and then. Praise the Lord and send forth more missionaries please.

All I ever need in this world are these nuggets and you.

Oh, you wanted some sea food? Ain't no sea food around these parts. Why don't you try our calamari themed hot dogs?

That little boy should be thrown in jail for life. How dares he eat food in the shape of guns inside a public school? The nerve of some children.

Leave that poor clown and come dine with a real king.