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As good as you pretended

As good as you pretended

That's impossible. I will not look as good as I've pretended to do online. There must be some sorcery to this.

We'll disable you

We'll disable you

We must make sure that anybody parking here is disabled. It's nothing personal, it's just how things work.

Here for the violence

Here for the violence

I don't believe anything. I came here to see some good old fashioned beatings and some blood. I need adrenaline!

Will not kill you

Will not kill you

Sounds legit. Why not give this man a lift.

Private sign

Private sign

Make sure you don't read that sign, or this description.

Nudity required

Nudity required

Under no circumstances are you to enter the swimming pool dressed.

Nothing is special

Nothing is special

Today our restaurant will demotivate you completely.

The sperm bank

The sperm bank

Probably not a good idea to take a pic of this sign with a mouthful.

In trust we god

In trust we god

It's the thought that counts, not the actual result.

Stay in school

Stay in school

Another reassuring evidence that skipping school will certainly get you a flipping burgers job.