You are guaranteed to have a 100% genuine fake merchandise. Just come in and give us your genuine money.

Welcome to the lake of boobage.

Whenever this card came from, I'm printing out one and placing it on my desk from now on.

Make sure you keep all your children on a leash. We don't want any of them running around unattended here.

Those are all pretty obvious requests. Nothing out of the ordinary. I feel a little bad for Tim, but a rule is a rule.

So what am I supposed to get from this sign? This parking space is reserved for ten ants specifically?

This service really sucks. You are kept here and you wait for someone to come and wash your hands, yet nobody does!

Make sure you shit... err... kindly seat yourself when using our bathroom. We wouldn't want various things ending up in random places, would we?

This bipolar thing is so awful since it's awesome.

Welmoce is actually a really nice place, right?