Just stick a "do not enter" sign on an entrance and watch how total chaos takes over.

Our kids are sick after eating whatever it is they find in the park. So you got to clean up after your dog.

Finally a pub that was fed up with all the saggy pants.

Why should you be pessimistic? There's no sense for that because it won't work.

Shout "drinks are on me" and see how everybody in the pub will instantly fall in love with you.

That's impossible. I will not look as good as I've pretended to do online. There must be some sorcery to this.

We must make sure that anybody parking here is disabled. It's nothing personal, it's just how things work.

I don't believe anything. I came here to see some good old fashioned beatings and some blood. I need adrenaline!

Sounds legit. Why not give this man a lift.

Make sure you don't read that sign, or this description.