I never get in fights with old people, but this guy is simply asking for it.
Ladies and gentlemen, please meet Abraham Drinkin'.
Definitely not a hiding place for my beer. Go search someplace else.
Your little drinking problem is getting ridiculously small. You can't keep drinking like this for the rest of your life!
Just make sure you weren't moving oil inside the wheelbarrow before having a seat.
Want to make your phone disappear overnight? Just grab it on the way to the pub and make sure at least 15 beers end up on your tab.
You can't enjoy a decent rodeo without having a beer pouch on your belly.
Make sure that everybody else thinks you are a redneck with lots of beer and ammo. And pit bulls. Lots of bloody pit bulls.
Have nothing to talk about? Why peel off this label when you can talk about that huge tuna you've caught with your bare hands?
The perfect woman is ready with all the liquids required.